Those fucking shoe/skates are EVERYWHERE! You cannot go to Target or a mall without seeing some kid take a running start, as if he’s about to ram an aisle, then go gliding along, toes up.

These things look like they require an incredible amount of balance and coordination, which is why you don’t see a lot of adults wearing them. We’re too busy eating fat-laden cheesyfries.

Oh, goddamn… Fat-laden cheesyfries. I know what I’m having for dinner now.