Space Monkeys!

You didn’t even know it, but we are living in exciting times: laser eye surgery has become so commonplace that in some near future, there won’t be bad eyesight. The glasses and contact lenses will be unnecessary, useful only as fashionable adornments of an earlier era. Those dorky glasses you’re wearing now (no offense) are going to look like monocles and expensive canes look to us now.

“Have you seen my eyespectacles?” you will tell your aloof grandchildren. “They were an expensive purchase from the apothecary! And what of my Zulu War hat? Good Year of our Lord, I’m going to have to retire to the haberdashery and resupply!”

Those are going to be absolutely fucking awesome future-times.