I’ve avoided the day-after Thanksgiving sales for years now. I think two years ago I may have stopped at a Circuit City on a later afternoon and seen the shelves so bare that even deals on camera memory cards were a thing of ancient history, like faded Sanscrit.

This year, I had the day off and I actually considered getting up at 3 a.m. to go get in line for those $199 laptops or a cheap HDTV and then I remembered that I don’t need those things, I am a sane person who needs sleep, and furthermore, fuck da police.

As much as my wife and I are surrounded by techie things, we really do try to limit our purchases to the essentials and buying for buyings’ sake always leaves a stale and slightly metallic taste in my mouth.

I did almost buy an external hard drive online Friday, but again realized I didn’t especially need it. And I resisted buying on the fetid “Cyber Monday” as well.

And now I have no new stuff. But I am leaving only a Bigfoot-sized ecological footprint now. I may be carve the words “Pimp Bigfoot” next to it.