Game Over, Man
It was with heartbreak that my brother learned that the videogame he’d been anticipating literally for years, Aliens: Colonial Marines, is by almost all accounts a turgid piece of poopie.
There were a handful of outlier reviews singing its praises, but they were effectively drowned out by a massive dry heave from pretty much the entire gaming community.
By the time the game was in the hands of angry gamers, it became fodder for dumbstruck Vine videos
Jesus Christ http://t.co/r2aop75j
— cwGabriel (@cwgabriel) February 12, 2013
and hilarious YouTube videos detailing the very un-alien ways that the aliens behave in the game.
Meany’s not really a big videogame player, but for Bobbo, I imagine this is a heartbreak very similar to what Pablo is going through. We decided to view it through the prism of dance.
But really, it could have been such a great game. But even if people work to improve upon it, it’s very likely that years of mediocre work and bad decisions won’t be reversed.
Just Another Bug Hunt
To say I was disappointed by Aliens: Colonial Marines would be almost as much of an understatement as the game.
I remember reading EGM’s multi-page preview for the game’s concept six years ago (in print!) that spoke of a game that would be like Left 4 Dead, only more advanced and with the Aliens license. It would have 4-player dynamic drop-in/drop-out cooperative play that would change the course of the story depending on deaths and would pose strategic challenges in unique scenarios you could only encounter in the Aliens universe. Would you work together to barricade yourselves in a room against a swarm of Xenomorphs, one person welding the door shut while the rest watched the air vents, or would you put your backs to each other and shoot your way out?
What we got instead was a game that would be kinda sad by video game standards six years ago. Omar cataloged much of the reaction to the absurdity of some of the game’s animations and gameplay. It’s mostly been humorous, but I am seriously saddened by this outcome. It says everything we need to know about where the console video game industry’s head is at that they would put out a product like this after 6 years of development hell rather than giving it the extra time and resources it needed to be what it could’ve been. Nobody wins when the outcome is shooting at aliens with non-existent A.I. and loose collision detection. Nobody.
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